You Gotta Be Squiddin' Me!
by KingSeamus
Summary: Inkopolis gets a whole lot messier


Marie sipped from her cup, admiring the many Inklings walking around her thinking to herself how fashionable they all are. They would sing dance and shoot ink at each other and Marie would smile knowing that things were peaceful in Inkopolis and the world really... It's hard to believe these children were able to save the world as if they were playing a video game made for children but was more popular with men in their twenties.

She looked up at the sky and admired the clouds. Then she saw her self in them as she sees herself in many things of beauty and then reminded herself of the second most beautiful thing in her life. Her sister Marie. She had been gone for sometime since the end of the last Splatfest where the entire squid population voted Marie cooler hotter and all around better than Callie. She cant fathom why her sister would leave her given how amazing she was to the world. She sighed and waited for something interesting to happen which seemed to work well when she tried.

The clouds she saw herself in vanished as something fell through them at incredible speed. Could this be a turf war happening in Inkopolis?! She ready herself pulling ink from a puddle under her bench. The something crashed to her surpise no ink was anywhere to be seen.

"oh wait theres some red ink around it and that red hair.?!…. AN OCTOTROOPER?"

Marie charged her squelcher ready to pop the being in one shot. She got a closer look only to see it was…Uh… was it a squid or a kid…something seemed unfamiliar about this being… though it definently was a boy at least. Or a very handsome girl. He moved and she steadied her aim.

"Good Morni-*SPLAT* Marie shot him right in the face and to her surpise he didn't explode into ink. She popped a couple more rounds but the boy seemed to get angrier and angrier.

"Hey you dumb braud you're ruinin my favorite shirt here."

She continued her barrage until he started puking ink. She felt that was the closest shed get to making this being explode…

"Aside not being a good loser, why are you here?"

"I dunno getting my shirt friggin inked by you fish freaks!"

"Were squids creep"

"then its time to make calamari." The young man charged at her only to slip on a puddle of ink and his puke and fall again causing him to black out. Marie new she should of just left him there but he wasn't the only one falling today. As she carried the boy back to her place she thought to her self that this is a stupid way to cure boredom but it certainly beats it. She wonder why this guy sucked so much but seemed cool anyways. Before she could move any further octotroopers from all over surrended her from the shadows.

"Y-you've retruned?! Didn't my sis and I teach you a lesson last time? I got another one in me?"

"OHhhhhh we bet you do but you're washed idol duet is a nobody one hit wonder now. Look at your carrying weak children to pass the time. Were gonna clobber you then take Inkolopolis and the rest of the world for the Octarian empire."

"You gotta be squidin me…"

Marie unloaded a heroic barrage and even called upon the help of the other nearby squid children but their combined efforts were barely enough until the dubstep started to play.

"That rachet relic of a song could only be…"

"YO WHAT UP DJ OCTAVIO IS BACK AND IM GONNA DUBSTOMP YOU INTO OBLIVION"

The dubstep was too overwhelming no one could resist and they all were dumbed down by the bass dropping. Everything was going back. An eternal night approached. Marie fell to her knees and mumbled her last words. "Callie…where are you… Why do I have to go out to music this lame…can't someone fight…this…nigh-

A powerful hand pulled back on her feet. "y-you?!"

"These beats are pretty stupid dope." The young man's eyes filled courage. It's as if this music doesn't phase him. Could he actually… like this garbage? How lame…oh right.

"Can you beat that guy. He's kinda ruining everyone's day."

"Yeah. Leave it to me."

"In the likely event you die who are you anyways."

"I'm Seamus Hamilton the Beautiful Fighting King, and I'm gonna be the one to stop this flood." He let out a hardy laugh and Marie just smiled. She knew he'd win even though he was lame. He was no squid or kid. He was a man.

"feed me later haha" the man ran forward grabbing a nearby roller. The weapon least used against these guys… maybe he wont win…

Seamus bashed away octoling after octoling until he was aboard dj ocatvios saucer. He kicked him really hard in the face and then took over the controls and started DJing himself.

"YOOOO ITS YA BOY DJ KING SEAMUS COMIN TO YOU LIVE HERE AT INKOPOLIS. IM NOT WHERE IM FRO'M RIGHT NOW BUT IM READY TO FUCKING EAT AND PARTY SO GET LETS KICKT THINGS OFF RIGHT AND FIGHT THE NIGHT! HERES A LIL VAPORWAVE."

Within minutes the aesthetic of the music caused all octolings and most inklings to implode.

"dios mio" Seamus mumbled to himself.

Marie ran after him to thank him.

"You did it boyo you killed a lot of people with vaporwave"

"yeah… can I eat now?"

"nah. Im just have you dick me in the ass."

"Aw geez."

Seamus went back to Maries place and proceeded to dick her promptly.

"in this story line im presumably in my late 20s as well even though I have no canon age in game centered around preteens"

"thanks for clarifying" Seamus continued to ram his massive penis in her turd cutter.

"This reminds me of a joke I tell a lot. Boy am I hungry." Seamus thought to himself. He was already bored and knew he had at least 6 more hours of sex left in his very big penis. Marie noticed this. Normally she wouldn't care but his penis was just so very big and him being bored made him more incredible. Its nice to be fucked in the ass and all but has anything ever satisfied this man? surely she could be the one. She was voted the most important thing in Squidland world and this man didn't give a fuck other than the fuck that was happening in her anal cavity. She untangled her tentancle hair and proceed to suction cup around her body. Working her way up his well toned legs to reasonably absent and toned enough buttox. She eventually found his balls and began to give a tug.

"oy vey" seamus said.

"WHAT THE HELL THESE ARENT TENTACLES" she said or well she wanted to but she was losing coinciousness from the overwhelming pleasure seamus's very large fully erect cock was giving her. Am I dying. I see heaven nd hell and this man is in his own plane. Seamus yamned and wondered if he'd ever see his friends again or would continue to bang fictional characters. At least neil will believe this happened. DJ Octavio burst through the window with a pizza ready to fucking kill seamus. The presence of food helped seamus activate his ultimate. He roared, 'KRAKEN SEAMUS" and his already very huge massive penis size tripled and Marie inked out of every orifice of her body and was also ready red or something cuz squids do that when fucking. She also let out an orgasmic scream that was more powerful than a killer wail whipping out thousands of octolings. The flood of ink killed dj octavio and managed to not touch the pizza. It had bits of octopus in it which worked for seamus. He began eating. And then the fading thing happened again.

"I hate my life but at least im not Jon Faulk"

"yeah he sucks I bet hes never analed a squid girl."

" I love you."

"stay fresh"


End file.
